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Get Well

by Ton-Taun

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1.
Tangled in the cold, clammy stuff that you’re made of Aren’t you too old to be sucking on your thumb? Questioning the reasons you came here in the first place At the sobriety check, you reach in back for a stick of gum I see myself in every dead animal Disemboweled on the side of the road I see the wind carry flower pedals Into the mouth of the storm No one ever asks how old the pretty ones are Because no one wants to know Sometimes before you leave they throw you several parties Sometimes they just let you go
2.
Bottoms Up! 04:41
Bottoms up. I come around just to pour all of my love Into a plastic cup, it goes down easier than it comes up And when the lights go down, we close our eyes and dive in Moving in slow motion. I’ve been working harder and harder on giving in. Trust me you’d be scared too, if you could see the view from where I am right now And when the lights go down, we close our eyes, and that’s all Set up shop on the fault line, wrote my name in the sand Fell in love with the quick fix, I’m in love with the quick fix Tell me why would you ever want to talk to anyone if you didn’t have to Suck it up, that’s enough of this stuff, suck it up Tell me why would you ever want to talk to anyone And when the lights go down, we close our eyes and take a bow
3.
New Year 10:48
I am starry eyed I don’t see past the foot of my bed at night All night, all night I am thunderclap I’m the sound of the fast flowing light Flowing light, flowing light With an iron jaw and a silver tongue She is a wrecking ball, we are on trial With a Crystal ball and a smoking gun With a fake Southern drawl, he is a child We are oxygen You won’t breathe without taking us in Come in, come in Shot of medicine and a call to arms Distant memory doesn’t come lightly Acting frantically is a subtle art I’ve been practically doing it nightly Came in a winter coat Wrapped up in something soft Left with a bloody nose Covered in candle wax Transfixed by the wings of a fly Just call me God, call me taker of life Hold me with both your arms Bring me your love stacked in silvery piles Oh, a cold compress won’t help your fear of the dark One weekend alone might help you find what you’ve lost Oh, a cold compress won’t help your fear of the dark One weekend alone might help you find what you’ve lost Picked last for the volleyball team Stare at the sky like you know what it means Jesus was a carpenter But God is a gym teacher Oh, a cold compress won’t help your fear of the dark One weekend alone might help you find what you’ve lost Oh, a cold compress won’t help your fear of the dark One weekend alone might help you find what you’ve lost A kiss tastes different in this our new year I feel like a child in your arms Baby, I’m telling you, this is our year I am a child in your arms Falling exhausted in hope and in fear I feel like a child in your arms Baby, I’m telling you, this is our year I am a child in your arms
4.
Being alone isn’t so bad when you have a TV There’s a tall blonde actress on a soap opera, she’s got a gun and it’s pointed at me I’d tell her to shoot, but what’s the sense in doing that? Something tells me that she doesn’t have the heart to pull the trigger back When the car alarm goes off you drop your keys in the parking lot And say, “I was never one for transparency,” I keep my eyes on the clock I’d never admit to be content with fucking up, But what’s the point in keeping both eyes open when one does the job just fine I was surprised something so natural could be choreographed Drove across the country just to watch you do your big balancing act Color me impressed
5.
Double Agent 02:14
It’s a game of fastest finger; it’ll be a tug-of-war If you’re trying to convince me that the ocean is the shore If the sun shines just to burn us, if skies rain to get us wet If the stars for constellations just to fall down on our heads I will not hold out my arms, I will not hold out I will be your double agent, I will be your UFO I will hide inside the shadows, only show what you want shown I will be your television, I will be your mobile phone You will try hard not to listen when the final whistle blows And you will not hold out your arms, you will not hold out
6.
I pull the window down To cover up the sound of moving people I turn the TV on silent And stare into the mouth Of everything I love that I Can learn to live without Despite the recent trend I feel Stable enough for now Posing naked can be habit Forming after awhile Try to focus on the red light Try harder not to smile Beneath the trolley line You struggle to get comfortable enough to Take care to put me down easy And offer me a light as if you were Offering last rights The oil barely needs to touch my forehead Despite the recent trend I feel Stable enough for alright For a universal genius, You never feel so smart As when you’re turning something Degrading into art In the scheme of things, if it were up to me I would leave it all right now In the parking lot I was paralyzed When the car alarm went off And you said to me, "Sometimes nothing is the only thing I want." You look closer from far away
7.
I dropped a token into the turnstile next to the sign that says “Smile, baby, Smile. You’re on camera.” Nobody ever showed me how to leave a room in style “Fuck you, fuck your friends I’ve got better things to do than sit and take this shit from you.” It’ll be October soon and I’m going to make it, I’m going to make it There’s more than one way to kill a couple afternoons Fine a place to hide, and I will hide Because I’m big game, and you’re a big game hunter I hadn’t seen a good film in a while, so I stayed up all night Made it to the end just to watch it start again I touched the television screen just to feel the sparks flying Blue lights flashing Woke me up at five, and put me back to sleep at five past nine There’s a glow inside the room that makes breathing harder, breathing harder There’s more than one way to kill the bright streetlights outside Find a place to live and die and I will live and die I will live and die Because I’m big game, and you’re a big game hunter
8.
Built a bed on the fault line Snuck inside with an armful of fireworks Wet cement holds a lifetime I don’t know if I’ll ever be comfortable with this See the nightlife on ice Put the pills in their weekly container See the nightlife on ice Go home excited Bought a box full of red, long-stemmed roses Held them up to the light What could make this a summer blockbuster? Add an attractive redheaded woman, and voilà See the nightlife on ice Take a pill just to leave the apartment See the nightlife on ice Go home excited Running wild in the left lane Wasting time with the low-lives and losers in love With the cure and the quick fix I don’t know if I’ll ever be comfortable
9.
Aftershock 04:41
Radio squall can turn my luck around At 12 o’clock I wouldn’t go downtown Caroline calls, she wants a recipe My mother only wants to comfort me Can’t help but get caught up in the aftershock The street-cleaner’s stuck outside the parking lot A car on blocks won’t take you far “Steven, my God, I really envy you. Living the life of quiet solitude” Can’t help but get caught up in the aftershock
10.
Get Well 07:18
The feeling you get in your face when you laugh Is an unsettling thing A foreign response to the world and the want To be loved, or at least to be seen Drinking alone is something you do to forget That you used to have friends Cradling calm in the crook of your arm Can be fun, but it comes at a cost Fearing the unknown is a waste There's enough that we know worth being afraid of Bringing it home is only the first in the steps To becoming obsessed There was light in the hall, in the frame on the wall There was love, and then there was you All I want is a Goddamned root beer float And somebody new to talk to To learn to cope is what some people want I just want it to stop Where you are isn't going to bring me pain anymore
11.
Fox Mulder 05:12
Loneliness will settle in when good things start happening Raging, cold, and cowardly cardinal sins are calling me Tonight, there’ll be nothing to shake me loose The choice isn’t mine to make, but I’ll make it anyway Brave the weather for a while, bathe my face in holy light Tonight I’ll swallow everything that moves “Susan, tell them what they’ve won.” A cardboard cutout champion Shows me how to love myself, gives me lessons for my health Tonight there’ll be nothing to shake me loose See the compact carnival, built to be collapsible Ride the Ferris Wheel alone; clever kids will call this home Tonight I’ll swallow everything that moves

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released November 13, 2012

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Ton-Taun Lancaster, Pennsylvania

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